Reading the very first chapter of Her Body and Other Parties had me questioning and feeling many things. At first, I was uncomfortable with the consistent expression of sex because it’s not often a topic I read about. But, Machado is so vulnerable, open, and herself throughout her sexual experiences. She seems like a writer who is confident with self reassurance of what the writing could and should be. She’s specific. She added notes for us to read HER story the way SHE wants it to be read. I think she does this because this is hers, like her ribbon. It’s not like we can’t have opinions of her story and I think she knows that as a writer. But, she also writes this story in a way for us to get to know the real her. I was stuck at the sex parts because I questioned what she wanted us to do with that. What are we taking away as readers? What story is she telling me and why is it important for her to express herself using these specific words?

Her vulnerability and honesty shows me how hurt she was when her walls were broken down by her husband. She was intimate with him and they gave each other everything. From the very beginning she knew she wanted this man in every way possible. It’s kind of like a craving? As the story progressed, I saw how her husband’s craving to know every single part of her grew stronger. He wanted no secrets between them and she just wanted to keep some personal things close to herself. Which makes me question how far do we have to go to break our own walls for the sake of others? Why couldn’t he just let it go? Why couldn’t he let her keep that piece of herself? Taking me back to the sex because they gave each other everything they had to offer at a very young age. She married him and had his child, but the walls of her body, her blood, and heart didn’t seem like enough to him? Is that love? She reassures the audience that her husband isn’t a bad man though. I believe her. Love hurts. I keep going back to the sexual experiences she encounters with her husband and it’s beautiful how she describes it. She’s free and she’s enjoying herself and that’s okay to feel. In today’s society sex is such a weird topic to bring up because it has so many different connotations around it.

I’m trying to explore many questions and dig deeper into her story. I want to know more about the husband but I think back, and Machado didn’t add much of his personality there. She didn’t tell us anything real about his character and I think it’s because this story should be a selfish one. One that describes her, her love, to her lover and son, and what the world has shown her. The world has broken into her walls…

I have a thousand questions about this green ribbon and more of Machado’s reasoning behind this story. But, I know she’s a specific writer. Questions are meant to arise during her stories because that’s what she intended. I don’t think she wrote to be understood or receive the feedback. I think writing truly freed her and she’s expressing her experiences that maybe silenced her, made her feel lonely, confused her, etc. Maybe like how she felt at the end of this chapter, lonelier than ever, even when her husband was sleeping next to her.

This is the vibe this writing gave me. I imagined someone just sitting in a relaxing setting and writing their life story at the beach in lines between the sand and water.